The Early Morning Poet

MOVING FORWARD...

2011-07-20T04:57:00.000-07:00

A New Beginning!!

I started this blog January 1, 2010. At the time I was following a suggestion from my grief counselor to...find an outlet. My husband had passed away the previous year and during his long illness writing was my therapy to myself. But for some reason that first year after he passed away my writing/therapy stopped. So with my counselor's assignment in mind, "The Early Morning Poet" was born.

But now I feel that God is calling me to to move forward with my writing and my next phase of "life's Journey".
A year ago I completed a very intensive training course at OHSU on "living with Parkinson's". My counselor told me, "Don't hog your journey....it's not just for you" .

So stay tuned for a new direction my writing will be taking. Not sure what exactly..but I will be sharing with my blog friends and family because...we all see giants in the journey where God is leading us, and we all have a journey.

I had dinner with a very smart insightful friend last night..we were busting the gloomies and packing our bags and moving to a better state of mind. She gave me some excellent advice. Thanks Friend!!
Basically our two hour after dinner conversation boiled down to these words, "Love God...Love yourself...and let go of all your pride." Yep it's that easy!! Because after all.....

I don't want to hog my Journey...it's not just for me!!

Queen Sheba

2011-06-25T07:40:00.000-07:00

Every good Captain should have a mascot and "The Promise" Has Queen Sheba. Sheba is going on thirteen years old and since she was a four week old kitten she has lived on the sail boat "promise".

When sailing she loves to roam the decks looking for a sunny spot to take in the sun.

She loves the birds eye view when sailing....

or maybe it's the cat's eye view

It's nap time...again!!

She is the queen.... she used to tolerate me...but now she will come and sit on my lap. But she will ask permission first. Look me right in the eye and give a big ol MEOW..I say yes come on....and she get's herself situated for another nap.

10 days later...

2011-06-21T09:02:00.000-07:00

Today is the tenth day aboard sail boat "Promise" and I am thoroughly enjoying the beauty and splendor of these islands. We have been "hanging on the hook" in Dungeness Bay for the past 24 hours. My favorite and most beautiful spot so far. It's a National Wildlife Refuge with the world's longest natural sand spit that softens the rough sea waves and forms a quite bay and harbor. I got up this morning at 5:00 AM to hopefully get a few good sunrise pictures.

But along with the good a few.... minor mishaps...have occurred. But to be fair to the Captain I guess I really should admit that leaving a propane burner on...without flame...is a tad bit more than minor. He then proceeded to give me a lesson regarding boats...propane...and fire. I still say I didn't do it...but since there's only the two of us on board, he choose me. But in all fairness to me I do have a very good excuse for all the minor mishaps that have been occurring these past 10 days. I have told him several times that this boat is haunted. Ghosts that push buttons that shouldn't be pushed... move my things about so they are constantly in the Captains way...remove batteries from his air mattress/bed. Yes it's true. When he went to put more air in his bed the pump wouldn't work and inspection revealed there were only three batteries. When he had aired it up 3 weeks previously he had installed the four needed batteries. Ghosts I say!!

New weight loss plan

2011-06-18T12:21:00.000-07:00

Saturday June 17, 2011 ...Two Miles off the island of San Juan just hanging on the hook...that's sailboat talk for anchored. Yesterday we moored for the afternoon in Friday Harbor, the largest city in the islands. It's an enchanting little town with a mix of old and new establishments.

Kneeling required to get in refrigerator

The Captain told me that boat life is hard...not like my previous traveling adventures in a 36 foot, self contained motor home. In fact he guaranteed me I would loose ten pounds over the next two months. I was a bit skeptic...but after almost a week aboard I now realize why he sounded so confident when he said it


stairs up to door..door height approx 3 ft

After being aboard the Promise almost a week I really wonder if I can make it two months. I'm really not a wimp or anything but after 5 full days aboard I'm absolutely sure I will be loosing a pound a day and I'm wondering this morning how can a 90 pound weakling be of any assistance what-so-ever.

This is the shower...The opening to the shower hits me mid-thigh.
I'm not short but I have very short legs for my height..can be a little ticklish....just sayin!!

My herbs that I started from seeds at home are doing amazing!!

Through the porthole!!

2011-06-14T22:03:00.000-07:00

Tuesday June 14, 2011 Port Angles, Washington

Boarded sailboat "promise" about 10:00 PM Sunday evening.
"Looking through the porthole"

After hearing about the "adventure" (if that's what it's called) the guys had on their 36 hour ocean voyage I am extremely glad Warren talked me out of going on that part of the trip...and I realized what I learn in the next two months will determine if I will be a help or a hindrance on the return voyage.

Took Ed and Carol sailing yesterday. Ed was the Captain's helper on the ocean trip and I drove up with his girlfriend Carol on Sunday. It was shirt sleeve weather for the first couple of hours and then a storm blew in.

Lesson #1 steering the boat

Note the blue sky

A girlfriend of mine is arriving tomorrow to spend a week with me on the boat. After she gets here we are sailing for the island of San Juan...about a 7 hour sail depending on the wind.

Revised plan #5

2011-06-06T11:39:00.000-07:00

Oh my...here we are almost mid-June...well a really good start anyway. No one calls me lately...why? because they think I'm sailing...but I forgive them because after all I have been leaving on a sail boat for almost 6 weeks now. We have had a lot of revised plans...we are now on revised plan number #5...and NO there will not be a plan #6. So in the next week or so be looking for blog updates from me aboard the "Promise".

My garden is going to miss me...but not as much as I will miss my garden. With all the rain we've had lately at least I can say my garden loves it. A sign I have in my garden says it all:

If your lucky enough to have a garden

you are lucky enough.


The roses Reub sent me!


beautiful color!!


My secret garden...

Still wondering....

2011-05-26T07:33:00.000-07:00

There's a lot of things I wonder about...I wonder if I will always have this feeling of sadness at this time of the year....I wonder about the beauty of the world....such beauty and such powerful destruction...I wonder did God also create tornado's....I wonder why....I wonder if loved ones in heaven are aware of how much we miss them....I wonder how anyone gets through life without faith....I wonder why... but I still believe...I wonder if I will actually ever sail on a boat called Promise...I wonder if obstacles are just obstacles to jump over...or are they messages from above...I wonder whatever made me think May 28 would be easier this year...I wonder why sometimes life is so hard...I wonder why my Grand kids are getting so old...so fast...and I'm not...I wonder if they will forget his face...yes I wonder about lots of things!! But most of all I wonder how a person can feel such sadness....and at the same time such happiness and anticipation about the promise of a sail on The Promise!!

I wonder...

2011-05-13T09:44:00.000-07:00

San Juan Islands here I come...well soon anyway...I think...maybe soon!! The sail boat Promise has not been to sea in a few years and the Captain takes his job very seriously...as well he should. In preparing the boat for it's ocean voyage he found water in the fuel tank....vandals...an accident?...I wonder!!. BUT...that was a good thing, because in cleaning the water from the fuel tanks he discovered he had a bad fuel pump. So glad the fuel pump was discovered now and not 25 miles out to sea. A coincidence...I wonder!!
Psalm 121:8 The Lord will watch over your comings and goings both now...and forever.

It seems to me it would be so much easier to work on a boat engine if it was an outboard. Don't they put outboard engines on sailboats? I asked the Captain that very question and his response "silence". Maybe that was a stupid question!!

My job in this whole fuel pump repair:

Put on my mechanical clothes (yes I have special mechanical clothes)...lay on the floor...and hold mirror and flashlight so he can see what he's doing. So far so good...I can do this. The mirror is attached to the end of the tool on the left of the picture. He says, "now hold the mirror really still...and don't move it".
Here lies the problem. Excuse me...but you don't tell someone with Parkinson's to hold really still and don't move. What is he thinking??

So now the fuel pump is out of the boat and at the repair shop. So in 7-10 days we will sail...hopefully...I wonder!!

Sailing on Promise

2011-04-13T08:22:00.000-07:00

Next month I am leaving on a trip of a lifetime....setting the sailboat Promise's course for the San Juan islands. These islands are tucked away in the Northwest corner of the state of Washington and their rugged beauty, mild climate and remoteness make them a true "get away from it all " destination.

I think I will make a good sailor. I've been deep sea fishing numerous times and never got sick so I do have that in my favor....I love the water....and I do have an adventurous spirit..... but that was a few years back and as I age I seemed to have lost some of my adventurous spirit. But then again a few months back I did said "Yes" immediately to para sailing in Cabo and zip lining on the island of St Lucia...but two months of sailing?? Not sure why I feel a bit apprehensive the Captain has hours and hours of sailing experience and a few years back he sailed to Hawaii by himself. So that sets my mind at ease and gives me a measure of comfort. But also coming along increasing my comfort level is a friend who also is an experienced sailor. So when learning that for the trip up the Pacific ocean into the straits of Juan De Fuca there would be two experienced sailors at the helm my bold...adventurous..daring...cheek...determined spirit returned.

Will I have to do this?

This past few weeks while assisting the Captain getting the boat sea worth I have been listening and learning quite a bit of the sailing lingo. I checked out some library books on ocean sailing but I found myself skipping over the terms associated with ocean voyages...terms like grab a bucket and start bailing...what happened to the Dinghy?...what's a storm surge?...abandon ship (your kidding right?) ...is flogging still practiced? But one term I'm worried I may get quite familiar with is "down the hatch".

We set sail sometime the last week of April or the first week in May...we will be waiting and watching the weather looking for a good window of no storms and calm sea's. There will be four on board for the ocean part of the sail...Captain Warren, Captain Lanny, my friend Victoria and myself.

My plan is to keep family and friends current and updated via my blog.....

LAUGHING WITH THE ANGELS...

2011-02-18T06:04:00.000-08:00

More than likely he had just played a joke on someone!!

Tomorrow is my birthday but the day I remember most is today...the day before my birthday. Two years ago today my Reuben took a trip of a life time...a trip that he had been preparing for his whole life. The last six months before he left he was in constant preparation. But he had no bags to pack...no little baggie to hold all his liquids..no passport...no money needed for this trip....in fact he didn't need to take a thing ..except a heart and soul that was devoted to his maker his whole life.

Reuben loved to laugh and he loved making others laugh...especially me. There's no doubt in my mind that he is not only laughing with the angels but also making them laugh.

You family is thinking of you and remembering you today Reub...

BIRTHDAY.....AGAIN????

2011-02-11T05:27:00.000-08:00

Guess what......in a couple of weeks I will be 1,096 days short of being seven decades old. WOW!!
As I sit here writing this I am at an over 55 hot mineral water resort in Southern California and most everyone is way over 55. My daughter and neice in their 40's came to visit for a week and they loved being "the young hot babes" at the pool. One of my husband's favorite sayings's was "getting old is not for sissy's." and I have to admit he was right. I have noticed while living amoung "old" people...ooops..excuse me....senior adults.... this past couple of months is that most of the time the conversation's in the pool reside around their past surgery's...their achy joints....bad knees....bad backs...medications...and or numerous other ailments.

I don't mind being old but I sure hate looking old....and I sure wish I could have had some practice before hand. But it seems I just woke up one morning and realized....I am old. It just sorta snuck up on me. One day I was the "hot babe at the pool" and the next I'm buying slimmers disquised as a cami. It's called a flex-eez and incidently the name is a complete oxi-moron... there is nothing at all that you can flex..let alone flex with ease, while wearing this cami. It is made of some miracle spandex so strong that I have to remember to breathe. Note to self...OK now it's time to breathe in then wait a couple seconds then... breathe out.

Oh there were signs along the way that I was getting older but I guess I just ignored them. Like random hair growth. I had my upper lip and chin waxed for the very first time a couple of month's ago. OUCH...then she had the nerve to ask if I wanted a bikini wax also. A bikini wax...after feeling the pain of the upper lip wax....who in their right mind would say yes to that question. But that poses another question: what would make her think that I would need... or want...or enjoy...a bikini wax? ..and no I did not tell her about my random hair growth in the vicinity of the girls.

Another sign along the way that I must have just ignored is my neck...I think I have turkey genes that are runnning rampent in my family. If this keeps up I can actually see myself being afraid to go outdoors on Thanksgiving. My neck tissue seems to have developed a life of it's own. Young girls take care of your neck. I know....wrap it in one of those FLEX-EEZ every night before bed.

I used to have an amazing memory Tell me your phone number once and could remember it and dial it a week later. Now I have problems not only with my memory...but my hearing as well. When driving to the store I have to make three left turns...why don't I just turn my signal on when I leave home and then I won't have to remember to turn it on..then off again. Seems so much easier to me.

My greatest fear is driving the wrong way. Just lately I went east on the freeway for 40 miles before realizing I needed to go west. Easy mistake for even young people to make....isn't it? I have gone down a one-way street the wrong way....I tend to get out of elevators as soon as the door opens...note to self: check to see what floor your on. I tend not to believe my GPS lady....she enjoys sending me the wrong direction. As if I know more than the satelites that the military rely on for national security issues. My greatest fear lately is heading through the car wash going the wrong direction. Now that would be funny....especially if I meet another directionally impaired senior adult lady that immediately assumes she's going the wrong way and starts backing up. Now that's funny...I don't care who you are!!

Talking to God...pondering things!!

2011-02-02T06:24:00.000-08:00

My prayer for today God....I don't want to do nice things for people any more.... I don't want to do nice things for people just to be "nice" ...or so that I will be nice and others will think I'm nice. Help me to be nice...for absolutely no reason. What a concept!!

Because....it is better to wear out doing nice than to rust out doing little or nothing.

God always gives His best to those who let Him choose....God help me..let you.

No matter how many goals I have or have achieved ...God help me to remember to set my sights on the highest one.

Help me to remember that I am not a human being on a spiritual journey...but instead I am a spiritual being on a human journey.

If my desire to write is not accomplished by actual writing...than my desire is not to write. If my desire is to please God and then I do unpleasing things...than my desire is not to please Him.

A single sunbeam can drive away all shadows...God you are my sunbeam.

Thank you God for all the lessons I have learned in the past two years.
You have walked with me and guided me through some tough times. Thank you for teaching me that happiness is a choice...and I choose happiness. You have taught me not to dwell on sad things because I relinquish to them a power they were never meant to have and I don't want to give that kind of power to things I have no control over.

Thank you for putting a friend in my path that helped me to choose happiness.
Today God just let me rest in you!!

MY DIET QUEST!

2011-01-30T06:34:00.000-08:00

I'm on a quest or mission to find a diet that actually works. I've tried high carb, low carb, count points, diet for my blood type, low food and no food .... and my observation is dieting is not a piece of cake. At the present time I am in Southern California enjoying the beautiful sun...the hot mineral water....and the FOOD!! My two favorite places to visit...and I'm thinking technically I may qualify as a squatter... is the date farm and their famous date shakes.... and my all time fav is the DOUBLE DOUBLE from the In-and-Out. So this week I'm back on WW and counting points. Well I really must be truthful about this and say, "I'm attempting to count points". Some days I have to just give up and say, "thank God tomorrow is another day and I haven't eaten a thing in that day yet.

So in my quest to find the EASY diet I did a little surfing and read a few blog's on dieting and I found this.

A diet where I don't have to do anything....the tape worm does it all.
PTL my quest is over I found the perfect diet....NOT. I wonder if this was a real add in a magazine or a joke.

So in my quest the only conclusion I came to is I have to eat less food. Eat less food?? So I guess that means giving up mashed potatoes and gravy. Mashed potatoes and gravy make me think of my Mom...they bring me comfort. Her theory was, "if something comes with gravy then use it". Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat. And always...always...make your mashed potatoes with cream or if your dieting then it's OK to use half and half.

JIMINY CRICKETTS!!

2011-01-20T07:21:00.000-08:00

Jiminy Crickett was a comical and wise little character who accompied Pinocchio on his many adventures.

Well I think this comical and wise little fictous crickett is alive and mating in my closet. Cricketts!!

We all remember warm summer evenings as little kids the pleasant sound of cricketts chirping away. They are field crickettts. Now I bet you didn't know there are also house cricketts...yes house cricketts....and they all reside in my little rented house in Desert Hot Springs. Also house cricketts don't have much of anything to do while living in a house except make that "pleasant crickett chirp" and make more cricketts. Each adult female lays hundreds of eggs and those eggs my friend hatch into hundreds of baby cricketts...and those baby's grow up to "make that pleasant crickett chirp" and of course make more cricketts. Are you getting the picture??

Just in case your not getting the picture...

here they are....crickett's that make that "pleasant chirping sound".

Not only are they noisy but they are bugs...ugly bugs that hop just about the time I get my courage up to smash it into a brown gooey mess on my kitchen floor.

Yes I admit it....I hate spiders....bugs....bees...fly's.
My girlfriend was visiting me last week and she was my crickett killer and my daughter will be here in two weeks to visit....and she can be the crickett killer. But until then I'm totally alone...well almost alone...I have the company of hudnreds of cricketts "making that pleasant chirping sound".

Grandma's Christmas tree

2010-12-09T07:50:00.000-08:00

As we age it seems it get's harder and harder to get the ladder and haul out the Christmas decorations...and then 4 weeks later we have to store them all away again for another year...and I guess I am no exception. For many years we had a tree 18 feet high and we had to bring the ladder in the house just to decorate it. Now my tree is a fiber Optic fake little thing and I never have to decorate it.

But last year I re-instated the family tradition that was started many years ago by my husbands mother. Grandma Schultz was never one to decorate much but she always had a tree. Then as she got older even the tree disappeared. But that only lasted for a year or two because I think she got tired of all the whining and complaints, "but Grandma you need a tree, where do we put the presents"? So I think in frustration she started hanging Christmas tree ornaments on her lamp shade. She got a good laugh from us all but in the back of our minds we were all thinking and asking ourselves, "is Grandma loosing it?" But never the less she continued this tradition for many years.

Well I think this Grandma is also loosing it. Last Christmas as I got out my Christmas decorations I remembered with affection and Love my mother-in-law's decorated lamp shade and I just knew in my heart that I had to continue this tradition. When my daughter saw my decorated lamp shade it brought a huge smile to her face remembering her Granadma.

This Christmas season my prayer is for everyone to remember those family traditions and try keeping them alive by telling the stories to your kids and grandkids and pass on the old traditions and maybe start new ones.

Have a wonderful Christmas and remember Jesus is the reason for the season!!

THE MONEY GAME!!

2010-12-01T13:53:00.000-08:00

Lately I have had more than a couple people ask me why no blog updates lately? Maybe I have writers block...or maybe just not inspired. Then Sunday morning my Pastor inspired me. What a sermon!! He preached on James 4 ....the folly of money and the love of money. During his sermon I was thinking about stuff...and money. Oh how I do love to accumulate money...money for buying hotels...money for buying more property...money for buying railroads....money for houses and then more money as I collect rent. I can't help from smirking as I count and stack my money...stacks and stacks of money. I love to play the money game. Buy lots of stuff and charge lots of rent and always...always pass GO and never go to jail. I am queen of the money game...in the past I have amassed quite a Monopoly fortune. But at the end of the game I have to take all my stacks of money...all my hotels...all my property and put it back in the box.

Sometimes in life we loose track of our main goal and instead of putting our trust in the BIG "G" GOD, we instead start putting our trust in stuff....or the other 3 "G's"...Goods...Garments...and Gold. I think that's called stuff-trusting. If there was no God I guess stuff-trusting would be an OK thing to trust in. But there is a God and he wants us to trust in HIM....not stuff or money.

So I think what Pastor Dave was trying to get across to me is yes we should plan for the future but our plan should include God. Do not be haughty and think for one minute that you had anything to do with your accumulations. Everything is God's....God owns everything and gives us all things to enjoy. Be rich in good works, ready to give, and willing to share. It's just yours to play with while you are here so don't take it too serious. After all it's just like Monopoly money. It all goes back into the box when the game is over.

Friends and Family!!

2010-10-07T07:38:00.000-07:00

My daughter's gone....oh she's not gone-gone but she was staying with me for a few weeks until she found a more permanent place....now she's gone and I miss her already. The last time she and I spent time together in the same house was over 20 years ago during her hard teen years...and I must say I truly love and admire the woman she has become.

We would sit in our jammies and share our life and our hearts. What is it about jammies that inspire friends to share more deeply?

I just returned from Astoria and the "Great Columbia River Crossing". This bridge that starts in Oregon and ends in Washington

and crosses the mouth of the Columbia river is one of the longest of it's kind in the world. Every year they close one lane of the bridge for two hours and over 3,000 people sign up to walk or run it's mighty span of over four miles. Eleven friends and I rented the "Penthouse" suite overlooking the bridge and the river. We spent the weekend laughing...sharing...eating...and laughing some more. Friends and family that know me inside and out and choose to love me anyway...that's what it's all about!!!

BEACH FEAT...OR BEACH FEET??

2010-09-28T07:57:00.000-07:00

Feat...an astounding act of courage...endurance...or strength!!

Feet...take me where I want to go...with courage...with endurance....and strength!!

See these feet...hard to believe they are 66 years old...they don't hurt....they still get me where I need to go...and the most amazing thing is while every other part of my body has grown...my feet are still the same size as they were in high school...and not wanting to brag to much I also need to say that my earrings from my high school days still fit.

Last Thursday my feet completed an amazing feat!!My four week 1,120 hour Parkinson's study at

OHSU in done...finished...completed. The purpose of the study was to prove that with a daily exercise program you can delay or stall the progression of this disease. I also need to add here that this exercise schedule needs to include at least 3 varied forms of exercise. They had me kayaking...Yoga...boxing...and crazy agility stuff that involved tires and jumping....and then....they would have me do these different exercises while counting from 100 backwards by threes. Jumping through tires...now that was a feat for these feet!!

Two years ago I did this same study with OHSU before they had funding to do the actual study. Before each study began they would hook me up to all kinds of wires and electrodes and then do very technical testing of balance, agility and other things involving cognitive thinking tasks. My goal was to continue with this crazy form of exercise to see how it affected the progression of Parkinson's.

They called me the other day with exciting news. They compared my testing from two years ago with my current testing and I actually scored better now than two years ago. WOOT...WOOT

But....now I have to continue this crazy exercise program...and they have added skipping. So if you happen to see me skipping around my house....while pretending I'm in a kayak....screaming out numbers at the top of my lungs....please don't call the white coat people.

A few of my favorite things...

2010-09-14T07:59:00.000-07:00

With my very very busy schedule this past couple of months I was thinking I needed to slow down...don't plan so much....say no more often...go back to when life was less hectic. I did have a very hard time remembering that far back...you know..back when life was less hectic. But I did remember a few of my favorite things.

I remember my Mom coming to my room every morning and singing "Good morning sunshine". When a teenager I hated to hear that song because I knew it was then time to get out of bed. Oh how I wish I could hear her sing it just one more time. She loved flowers. Flowers in the garden...flowers in a vase...or just pictures of flowers. I wonder if she would enjoy looking at the 179 pictures of dahlia's I took a couple of weeks ago at the dahlia festival. YES MOM...one-hundred and seventy-nine. What was I thinking?? I think I must have inherited Mom's love of flowers.

Today must be a day of reminiscing because I was also thinking about my husband and pay phones booths. Remember pay phones....oh what fun they were!! My husband was the king of seeing how many friends he could cram into a phone booth. On Saturday night dates that was not only a past-time but a hilariously fun hobby. I wonder at times what fun things are left for our young teenagers to do now a days? While in the restroom at the hospital the other day the lady in the stall next to me was just chattin away on her cell phone. I think she also misses the booth and so she pretends while in her little stall chattting away on her cell phone. I could say something here about making her deposit...but I won't.

Another favorite thing that I miss is traveling in our motor home with family and friends. When you loose your husband you also loose your lifestyle. I miss sitting down at the dinner table and eating a real meal....yes I know no one does that anymore but I did for 45 years and now it's dinner on a TV tray or standing in the kitchen. My lifestyle this past 19 months has changed 360 degrees....and I miss my old life.

I miss my husband's friends. He had three really close friends that would visit him often his last year of life...and I miss them. It was fine when I was married to sit for hours and visit with them while Reub snoozed...but now I'm a single woman and they are married and with that status comes a host of other issues.

But since I am a glass half full type of person I would rather count my blessings and list them one by one....but there's not time in this day to finish that list. But I think it did my heart and soul good to reminisce, because by remembering what I miss most....reminded me what I still have.

EZEKIEL 34:26 .....there will be showers of blessings.

The pirate bride!!

2010-09-13T07:29:00.000-07:00

This weekend my sister and I were invited on the sailboat of long time family friends to attend a pig roast on an island in the Columbia river. It was a three day event and about thirty sailboats were docked on the island for the festivities. The pig roast was attended by 50 or so people dressed as pirates....acting like pirates....and I think at times they actually thought they were pirates. Saturday evening they had a pirate wedding performed by a young man dressed as a pirate with his newly acquired internet license stating he was legal to perform marriages. I had a fun weekend with some old friends and some new friends.

But I arrived home with a sad heart. Sad for a number of reasons. Sad because I had been reminiscing off and on most of the day yesterday. It was the anniversary of Reuben's and my marriage 47 years earlier...and sad because I received some very depressing news of a dear friend who's long time marriage is ending....and sad because two people dress up like pirates and are married by a reverand toting a internet license to marry...a toy gun...a plastic cannon...a patch over one eye....and a belly full of rum. I was sad because the wedding of these two people was a joke....legal as all get-out...but treated as a joke.

So this morning I am praying for my very close friend and her broken heart. I am praying for her peace as she talks to her attorney today...and I am praying for the new couple that started their marriage as a joke.

Please God hear my prayers and see my tears!!

Lets talk apples...Infidelity...and other related subjects!!

2010-08-31T08:10:00.000-07:00

A friend told me that recently they read that over 75% of married couples have an affair at some point in their marriage. Unbelievable!! So being the super curious person that I am I decided to inquire of someone more knowledgeable then myself....Google is one of the smartest men I know. What I found astonished me. I read that 80% of the multi-millionaires have extra-maritial affairs but they have decided to conserve during this recession and have cut back on lovers gifts. Good for them for doing their part in this down economy.

I also read that 53% of marriages end in divorce...since I beat the odds and was married for 45 years ....is it any wonder I never want to re-marry.
But I also read that only 3% of marriages arranged by their parents ends in divorce...so I guess I need to re-phrase that previous statement....if my parents want to arrange my marriage...I'll do it!!!

So trying really hard to find something Google had to say to brighten my day...make me laugh...or at least smile, I decided to inquire again of the all knowing Google man, and maybe another site would have more cheerful facts.

Alas..he brought me apples. YES apples!!! For some unknown reason I was on a web page about apples, and that brought back beautiful memories of the snow apples I ate last winter while in Southern California. Beautiful deep crimson color...snow white flesh....tender, aromatic...sweet and tart at the same time. Oh if you've never had a snow apple..be sure and look for them this fall.

Thank you God for turning my attention from such dour statistics to such a great memory of those sweet tasty apples.

Don't worry....be happy!!

2010-08-29T07:54:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite songs from the 80's....going through my head this morning...over and over and over.

Don't worry, be happy..in every life we have some trouble,
when we worry we make it double.
Ain't got no place to lay your head..someone came and took your bed
Don't worry...be happy!
Cause when you worry your face willl frown
and that will bring everybody down
So don't worry .....be happy!!

I went to bed last night praying for my family...well maybe it is called worrying. I didn't think I was worrying...but maybe so. I have three sisters and and two of them are out of work and the one sister that does have a job, her husband has been job hunting for over a year and their financial status is looking grim. I have friends that really took a tumble when their 401K was suddenly turned into a 101K. I watch the dour financial news on TV...I hear about our unemployment rate...I listen to talk show hosts talk about doom and gloom....and then I'm not sleeping again...which is just delightful!!

So I have decided to use the TV remote and everytime doom and gloom is forcasted I will click to another channel. I will love not being crazy-pants anymore about all this financial stuff. In fact I decided I'm not going to participate in this "recession" anymore. I am not going to fixate on the economy. I am not going to listen to all the in-depth coverage. I am not going to go to sleep each night worrying about everyone's job....about inflation....about stagnation...staycations...because my obsessive worry has NO EFFECT AT ALL ON THE OUTCOME. The economy doesn't call me each day to see how I feel about it. If I choose to think about something else like green beans or watermelon margarita's the economy doesn't get worse. It doesn't get better either. It fact I have no control over any of this. All I can control is how I choose to see everything. I have decided instead to think on the things instead that I like. Things that are in my realm of control..prudent spending...saving what I can...exercise to stay as healthy as I can...keeping my thought tuned into good things so I can sleep better at night. Things that are lovely and beautiful. Like flowers...and tea....and Goodwill shopping....lunch with friends and sisters....outings with family...the weather...the sun...Starbucks coffee...Sunday morning church...and laughing with my neighbor over the mutant zukes in our garden.

Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praise worthy....think on these things. Philippians 4:8

Parkinson's update!!

2010-08-25T20:51:00.000-07:00

No one I know wants to have Parkinson's disease, including me. But sooner or later life will put real challenges in front of all of us. It has been eight years since my diagnosis and I realize now that PD is not the end, but the beginning of testing my own mettle, and realizing that there are many things far crueler in this world than Parkinson's...and realizing that I just don't have time to feel sorry for myself.

Parkinson's is a battle. But it's a battle that energizes me and gives me purpose. I just started another PD clinical trial at OHSU and after just one day I was energized with a new purpose to do all I can....for as long as I can...help as much as I can...and remain as healthy as I can.

This study is conducted to determine the responsiveness of PD and the symptoms associated with it, with an intensive physical therapy exercise program. Is Parkinson's sensitive to change? This study is 70 minutes every day....four days a week for four weeks. They study my balance and gait before and then again after two intensive, supervised, exercise programs. They expect to see improvement in balance and gait performance. Then this pilot clinical trial will result in a larger trial to determine the most effective exercise for improved mobility in PD patients. I am so excited to be chosen to participate in this study. Today my physical therapist was consuled and asked if they could come and video me for a segment they are doing for public relations. I'm going to be a star...but don't worry...I won't forget my friends when I am rich and famous. :)

view from the hill

Like everyone else I do wory about things...I worry about my future and the progression of my disease. Will my savings last long enough? Will my mental faculities be affected? I worry that someday all I'll be able to do it sit watching Oprah all day in between massages and sponge baths from Fabio, the hunky healthcare worker I keep dreaming about...so now that I think about it I guess it's not all bad.

The Beach Kids

2010-08-22T10:20:00.000-07:00

If I could choose just one place to be right this minute....it's the ocean!!

To me the ocean is symbolic of life. The power of eternity is seen in the endless horizon. The ocean brings me peace. I have often sat in the sand...gazing at the ocean with tears dripping down my cheeks, mourning the loss of my husband and shortly after the loss of my mother. I have sat ocean side many times throughout my life contemplating life's numerous challenges. For some useen reason the sound of the crashing waves around me...their rymthic pulse gives me peace in my soul. Just watching a sunset on the ocean horizon is magical and unique and there's just something indescribably romantic about it. God is never closer to me than when I'm oceanside gazing at His creation!

All that being said I now need to flip to the other side of the story. The story of The Beach Kids. Fifteen years ago my sister and I started our annual tradition of taking our grandkids to the Oregon coast for a week every summer. They soon dubbed themselves The Beach Kids. Our first trip we had only three children and since then we have had as many as ten. It seems each year lately we loose one or two kids to the call of their teenage friends, sports camps or jobs. This year we had three teenages...two seven year olds and two nine year olds.

I didn't see a sunset...because by the time the sun would set I was nodding off in my chair. Here is a brief snopsis of each day:

The sea gulls would start with their noise making at the crack of dawn and the younger kids would follow suit shortly after adding their noise to the medley. Soon the teenagers were up contributing their noise with music...wrestling...slugging...and teasing the little kids.

Then comes the food..or maybe I need to say there goes the food. Oh my Goodness...do they ever eat!! My sister and I have a deal...I do the cooking and she cleans up. Well I figured it out that I cooked 20 meals...fixed 231 snacks...handed out 36 bottles of water...and numerous popsicles and graham cracker treats

I saved numerous kids from their teasing older cousins and siblings...I intervened in arguments regarding the nighly movie choice...I played with them on the dunes so many times that my calves now feel like someone has pounded them with a baseball bat....I marched on the sand with the little kids playing follow the leader...I helped build sand castles...I judged their castle contest...I played in the surf for two hours with seven kids...I helped bury Peter in the sand for teasing the little kids. I helped the girls build a fort.
I carried sand toys back and forth too many times to count and next year I am going to make a
few voice recordings before I leave.

#1 Peter stop teasing the little kids. #2 Brush the sand off your feet before coming in the house. #3 Your hungry..how can that be? #4 Peter stop teasing the little kids.
#5 Yes you can have another snack. #6 Peter stop teasing the little kids

I brought home sand in my pockets and sand in my ears but I also brought more memories of another year of The Beach Kids. Yes I love the ocean..the sound...the sights...the feel...the smell. But most of all I love The Beach Kids.

I think I'm engaged!!

2010-08-10T07:31:00.000-07:00

What a fun weekend I had!! Bluegrass music...great visit with fam....yummo food...and a marriage proposal. Anyway I think it was but since I had only know this gentleman for 15 minutes when he proposed, I'm really not sure if that's what it was.

Before my husband or 45 years passed away he gave me lots of advice on being a widow. He gave me financial advice, spiritual advice, political advice...lots of advice on what to do and what not to do...like never ever hide the remote control again...but he never did tell me don't get engaged to a man I've only known for 15 minutes.

I will call my fee-aunce-say by the name of Wally to protect his identity and his three grown children. Three beautiful children I might add. Two of them he is certain I will enjoy meeting but the other one is rather difficult. He has numerous grandkids and so do I so before we get married he informed me that there would be lots of adjustments to be made on both sides. That is the one thing that can pull a couple apart is the things that they don't get settled before they tie the knot. He is financially stable and hopes that I am also. He lives in a small town an hour's drive from me and since that is such a long commute he thinks it's wise to get most of the hurdles out of the way right off the bat.

My fee-aunce-say is a charming gentleman but I think he is rather hard of hearing. After sitting down next to me and starting the conversation with, "I hear your a widow lady" and then his next question was, "you want to get married again"? The first time I said, "No... I'm not interested in getting married again".
Soon I realized that I needed to be firm with him or go shopping for my wedding dress because he either didn't hear me or I was being ignored. Not a good thing for my fee-aunce-say to start our relationship right off the bat by ignoring me. He asked me how old I was and then told me he was soon to be eighty-four....but don't let our age difference be a stumbling block. He's pretty active!!

Well after our 15 minute conversation my new friend picked his cane up off the ground...said goodbye...and headed to his car.

I didn't even get a ring...but I met a new friend and a person can't have too many friends.

Climbing Mount (Butte) Talbert!

2010-07-05T08:13:00.000-07:00

I recently bought an I-phone this past month and I have patiently been learning how to use it.

So yesterday when us three senior ladies decided to climb Mt. Talbert I made a special point to be sure I had it along. I sincerely believe if not for my I-phone we might still be on top of Mt. Talbert. Wait...I'm getting ahead of myself. I enjoy stories...telling stories...writing stories...and just hearing stories. To me everything that happens in my life is just a story waiting to be told. But as I sit here at my computer I am finding it especially hard to put into words everything that happened on our second time to scale this mountain...OK its really a Butte. But it is the largest undeveloped Butte in Northern Clackamas County. The park offers miles of hiking trails and four different trail heads. Four different trail heads? Good to know!!

We met at the church at 9:30 AM anticipating our hike and our time together. We were all looking forward to the exercise...enjoying God's creation...and chatting and catching up on each other's life.
Mistake #1...Chatting and catching up on each other's life. We chatted all the way there...we chatted while driving...we listened..we chatted...we drove....we chatted. We arrived at the trail head thirty minutes later, strapped on our fanny packs, grabbed our water, and I grabbed my recently charged I-phone and we were off.

I love my I-phone!! It has this amazing built in GPS that navigates and helps you get anywhere you need to go. You can down load a map and it will pin point exactly where you are at any point on your hike. It's an amazing indispensable device to be in your pack before starting a mountain climb...OK a Butte climb.

We had zero time to warm up. The start of the hike was pretty steep right off the bat and we had to shift into two heel drive immediately. But soon we got in the right gear and were trudging up the mountain...OK the Butte..at a firm fast clip of about 1.1 miles per hour, taking time out every so often to take pictures of the beautiful rain forest filled with ferns and wild flowers. The trail was always very well marked with arrows marking the route. Two hours later...with full bladders...we started looking to see just how far yet to our parked car at the trail head.

There are four different trail heads? Good to know!! Did anyone note the name of ours?? We continued on with much discussion of the correct route to take and after another hour of wandering through the wilderness I realized I was miss-placed. YES...miss-placed. We exited at yet another trail head to find a hugh beautiful retirement village...you know the place where they put old people that get lost all the time. We used their restrooms and after another discussion time decided we needed to stay out of the jungle and hit the roads and maybe something will look familiar.

At the intersection of two busy highways here sits three directionally challenged..totally wiped out...ready for the retirement village...senior ladies. Our short hike was now a lesson in survival. Then I remembered my I-phone in my pack. My amazing I-phone that can direct us out. Another half hour passes while I am trying to locate where we are on this munchkin size map and me without my reading glasses. But it did tell us the name of the two streets intersecting...smart phone...we figured that out by sitting on the bench reading the road signs. I was again patting myself on the back because I had the foresight to remember to bring my oh so very smart I-phone. I picked it up and dialed my son to come and get us. I told him the sad story of how someone had stole my car while we were hiking.
Thank you God for my son.....and for my I-phone!!

A funny thing happened on my way to the rest of my life!!

2010-06-27T07:37:00.000-07:00

I wake up each morning reminded that all I need to face the day is a fresh breath of my Lord and Saviour and then to find my way to the coffee pot. I could live without my coffee (if I had to) but I could not survive without my morning jolt of Jesus. Then I turn on my computer and my passion...writing. Maybe it's not a passion but an addiction. I can totally relate to my writing being an addiction because once I get going I really do have a hard time stopping. Even when I was a little girl I can remember writing silly little poems to my Mom and I would tell her, "I'm going to be a writter of words when I grow up". How is it that a litttle five year old can engage in such a complex thinking process years before I was even capable of surviving on my own? I couldn't wait to grow up and get on with my life. I wanted to experience everything. Still do!! Why is it I wonder we always want something we don't have or to be something or someone we're not? When growing up I wanted to be a famous sports star....a movie star...I wanted to be thinner (still do)...I wanted to be older. I wanted to be eleven when I was six....then sixteen when I was thirteen..then twenty-one when I was eighteen. I finally came to my sences and now I want to be younger. What was I thinking!! I remember when all I had to do was crawl...come on think back...you too can remember those days. I had it made. I was carried everywhere. Grown-ups would jump to meet my every need. I perfected my whine at an early age. All I needed to do was whine a bit and the whole world revolved around me. Oh...those were the days my friend!! But I couldn't leave well enough alone, no I had to try walking, and at what cost. Falling over and over again until I could stand on my own two feet and then I could walk on my own. Then not happy again I decided I needed to learn to run. You get the picture!!

There is something inside us that drives us. Call it ambition, passion, rebellion, competition, independence...whatever...it's there from the beginnning. A God given drive to move forward, our souls crave progress.

Then a funny thing happened...well not laughing funny...but wierd funny. I'm all grown up now and like my young neice asked me yesterday, "why can't grandma's run". Oh man...the one thing I was really good at too!! Actually I'm more than all grown up....I'm really almost grown UP!! I've been confronting my future lately. What is my future? Is there hope for a real future without my husband of many years? He defined me and gave me purpose. But hope pulls me forward into the future, whatever that holds. Where there is no hope there is no future. I believe hope is the oxygen for the soul!!

We are saved by trusting, and trusting means looking forward to getting something we don't yet have. Romans 8:24

My soul doesn't crave something from God, my soul craves God!! ...and by the way... so does yours.

A PROMISE KEPT

2010-06-15T08:59:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine has a sailboat named Promise and he has been promising me a sail on Promise. He kept his promise and took me sailing on Sunday. Oh how I do love sailing!! But I must admit that the whole sailing thing is more than a tad confusing. My question is why must they change the name of everything on the boat? A rope is only a rope when it doesn't have a function. After it is assigned a function it's name is changed. That had to be the grand idea of a man!! The rope that is attached to the sails to control their shape are called sheets....and when you adjust the sails shape it's called trimming the sheets...ropes that raise the sheets are not ropes..they are called halyards. Now I'm not a man or a sailor for sure but I'm thinking wouldn't it be easier to just call them what they are?

On the open sea the captain needs to know at all times that his crew or mate obeys his every command without question. It's a matter of life and death!! So with all that in mind you can see if the skipper's mate is given the command to "trim the sheets" she would automatically find the scissors and go to the aft cabin and trim his sheets. Aft...that the rear cabin in case you are wondering.

It's so easy to get confused with all the sailboat speak.

When the captain tells me that unless we get some wind we will need to be "tacking"...and from what I understood from him it is hard work and something he really doesn't want to do. So explain Captain sir...what is tacking? Unless I have a weakling for a skipper I'm reasonably sure it has nothing to do with tacks on a bulletin board. Tacking is the act of changing the direction of the sailboat by heading the bow into the wind and it requires a zigzag motion in the water. Then when the Captain asked me to take the helm (that's boat speak for drive this thing) while he went below to the head ...I was totally and utterly confused. He had just informed me previously that the head of the boat was called the bow and now he going below to the head. But since he did seem in a bit of a hurry I decided that now was not the time to correct his boat speak. Will I ever be sea worthy?

Now back to the statement I made in the previous paragraph. "The Captain asked me to drive this boat while he went below to the head". I came to the conclusion while I was driving the boat and he went to the head that my Captain is a weakling!! Tacking is not hard work at all...I was zigzagging the whole time he was below and it wasn't hard at all. That zigzag maneuver was no problem for me!! Keep in mind the sails were down.

The little boat we drag behind us is called a dinghy and the rope that hauls the little boat is called a painter. Since they insist on renaming everything I don't think it's entirely my fault that we lost the cute little boat. We never used it anyway so I'm not sure what all the fuss was about. When he said check the painter and be sure it isn't tangled I got so totally confused with all the boat speak. Trim the sheets...check the painter...check the head sail...the head of the boat is the bow. Anybody would get confused with all those commands. Is it any wonder I cut the painter and peed in the bow of the boat!!

I accidentally bought another jacket!!

2010-05-26T10:00:00.000-07:00

What is it when you shop that you can't resist? OK come on women ...admit it. I know there are some things you just can't resist. I have a very frugal/thrifty/green friend who admits to washing and reusing plastic bags and she also saves plastic grocery bags, cuts in strips and proceeds to crochet a purse. What a woman!! But my very frugal friend also did admit just recently to being a shopaholic at times. She counted her socks at moving time and admittted to 54 pairs of socks. For someone who most of the tiime goes barefoot I would say she has a sock fettish.

Another good friend of mine accused me of being a jacket junkie. So yesterday I set out to disprove her theory and decide to count my jackets. So now my question is... do sweat shirts count as a jacket? I Googled...what is a sweat shirt? Google's description of a sweat shirt is a garmet intended to cover the torso and arms. A jacket is clothing for the upper body. Since they both are intended to cover the upper body I probably should count them all together. My favorite color used to be black...so I have 4 black jackets. (my sister-in-law says black is not a color) I also love white (she also says white is not a color)
I have 3 white jackets. The new color this season is that lime green that I have went crazy for...3 lime green jackets. Navy is another color that goes with anything...2 navy's. Last year my favorite color yellow....I really, really, really like yellow. ..5 yellow. Everyone woman needs at least one red jacket to wear during the Christmas season...I only have 2 red ones. Pink...only 1. Then I have 6 jacket/sweatshirts of different colors not mentioned here. So now I am re-thinking everything as I realize I probably am a jacket junkie...since I counted twenty-six...oh now I'm wondering if I should have included my coats. Probably not!!

I had a good laugh at my friend who collect's socks but likes to go bare-footed...and here I am with numerous jackets...and I am constantly hot these days. Go figure!!

A smile...

2010-05-19T06:55:00.000-07:00

Hello my friend....your smile creeps from the words on the telephone screen and dangles

just for a moment on my fingers...catches breath and then snakes

up my hand tickling as it darts inside my sleeve...up my

shoulder...pauses to tickle my ear lobe and then

treks up to my eyebrow...then dives into

the brown pool of my eye...creating

lovely ripples that lights up all

that is inside and outside

one more smile please...

just for the other

eye!!

THREE GOOD THINGS...

2010-05-17T08:28:00.000-07:00

NOTE TO SELF...remember that as we make plans..God is smiling.

He must be smiling an awful lot lately...because it seems lately nothing goes as I plan. I go on a diet and plan on loosing some weight, this morning I stepped on the scales and decided to give my scales away to some needy family. I plan an amazing dinner and guests cancel....next time I'm planning SOUP. I spray my weeds and it rains and washes the weed killer away. I really dislike change..and I'm perfectly willing to compromise but it seems God wants to have everything His own way. I was really hoping that by this time in my life I could just breathe a deep sigh and say, "Oh, so this is how life works! Now I understand! Now I can settle back and just enjoy it." But surprise...Seems I catch on to one thing and get really good at it and then it's over, and all the expertise I gained is no longer needed.

I didn't plan to celebrate Mother's day without a mother...or to celebrate my husbands birthday with out him. Note to self....do research to determine if it's wierd to even want to celebrate his birthday without him.

So feeling kinda down this morning....OK I guess what I'm really feeling is poor...poor..pitiful me!!
So I decided to come up witih three GOOD things to focus on instead of myself.

1. On Saturday night my son was out of town so I invited my daughter in law and grandkids (4) over for a slumber party. What a grand time we had eating spaghetti and garlic bread...lots and lots of garlic bread. (Oh maybe that's why I'm mad at my scales this morning)

2. Went for a wonderful hike in the country. Saw beautiful wild flowers and stopped to play with some new born puppies. Then home to a good book and a nap on my porch swing while listening to the water cascade over the rocks in my beautiful water grden.

3. Rembering pastor Ron's sermon on Sunday and the fact that God never changes!! What a great thing to remember in this life of constant changes.

BREATHE IN...BREATHE OUT...MOVE ON!!

2010-05-06T07:55:00.000-07:00

These are words to one of my favorite songs and this has also been my mantra these past years. When my husband of 47 years was diagnosed with cancer...I would tell myself just breathe...we can do this. During his numerous bouts with chemo...just breathe...during his stem cell transplants.....
breathe in...breathe out..move on!!! Move on and do what has to be done. When we received the terminal diagnosis...I would breathe in but would forget to breath out. So numerous times a day you would hear this big whoosh of air being expelled as my body remembered to breathe out.

But that is in the past. Or is it? The past is never the past because it is really never gone. The past caught me off guard this morning as I was digging in my dresser drawer and came up with his safe accident free belt buckle. The past is there when I look into the eyes of our youngest son...the past is always there and after all where would it go and why would I want it to be gone anyway. The past I'm talking about and the past that I want to be gone is the hurting past of the past few months of his life. I'm trying to "move on" and move away from the bad years and focus on the good times. Trying so hard to not let the painful past haunt me and trying so hard to not let the past become my future. I want to look at the belt buckle and remember how much he loved driving his big 18 wheeler...I want to look at pictures of him on his ATV at the dunes and remember his dare-devil rides and jumps. What a hoot!! I want to view pictures of us on vacation and remember the fun we had together...no tears of sadness. I don't want to remember cancer...chemo...treatments...and final days. I want to move on and move away from the pain...move on and away from cancer.

Breathe in...breathe out....move on!!

PARKINSON'S AND OTHER STUFF THAT ANNOY ME.

2010-04-27T10:15:00.000-07:00

I received an invite last week to the 6th annual Shakers Ball that's being held at McMenamins in NE Portland. I had to belly laugh when I received the invitation to..."The Shaker's Ball" . Don't get me wrong, I'm all for fund raising events and Parkinson's is dear to my heart since I am a 3rd generation shaker. You've heard the saying she's a mover and a shaker...yep...that's me. But is this name appropriate for an amazing event that raises thousands of dollars each year for Parkinson's research? At first I was a tad bit offended but after a few moments of thinking about it I realized I wasn't really annoyed at the name of the ball...I was just annoyed....period. I'm still trying to put a handle on it. Yes I have Parkinson's...yes I am a "shaker"...so what's the problem? After considerable thought I came to the conclusion I am just annoyed with the disease itself.
Parkinson's annoys me!!!

Cancer annoys me. I had lunch with four high school friends last week. We have kept in touch off and on over the past forty some odd years since our high school daze. Out of the five of us...Pauline is a breast cancer survivor and Sue just started aggressive treatment for her breast cancer. Five of us and two breast cancer survivor's (yes I am counting Sue as a survivor). Not good odds (2 out of 5)
Cancer annoys me!!

Getting old annoys me. Actually it's not the getting older that I'm annoyed with it's everything associated with the aging process. Why can't we just get wrinkles and die? Actually I'd like to do away with the wrinkles also and high blood pressure...high cholesterol....low thyroid...high blood sugar....high thyroid...bad heart...and all the other diseases that seem to be plentiful in the retirement communities.
Getting old annoys me!!

Rain annoys me. It rained all night long..every time I woke up it was pouring. As I sit here in my office writing this I glance out the window and there's a beautiful rainbow. The rainbow is telling me this morning that God is still there for me...whether you are going through physical problems..financial problems or problems of any nature....God is always there!!

AIN'T NO MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGH!!

2010-04-25T07:46:00.000-07:00

For some reason I awoke this morning with that song running through my head. The music is great...but it's the lyrics that are stuck in my head and keep popping out of my mouth at inapproprate times, it seems.

"I'll be there in a hurry...you don't have to worry...No matter where you are. No matter how far. There ain't no mountain high enough to keep me away from you".
(Taken in Josuha Tree National park)

Isn't that what we all desire in life? Isn't that what we all are looking for? Isn't that what we are all in search of? Those connections with people that remind us that we matter!! We all have that list in our heads. You know the list...the one that when the %$#@ hits the fan... you know who you can call on.

I have, and I am blessed with those people for whom "there ain't no mountain high enough...there ain't no river deep enough...ain't no valley low enough...to keep them away when I need them". My list is hugh...humungous...immense....colossal...massive...you get the picture...and I am thanking God this beautiful Sunday morning for everyone in my life that climbs montains...swims river...and crosses valley's for me.
Thank you God...and thanks to my peeps!!

View from my front porch

2010-04-14T08:54:00.000-07:00

I love the time just before dawn...the birds are just waking up...my neighbors are still asleep...stillness.

So with a steaming cup of coffee in my hand I head to my porch. I love to sit on my front porch and just listen for God...and as I just sit and listen...slowly, slowly my senses awaken to His presence.

Dawn...early morning and the sun barely peeking

through the trees.

Flowers...spring flowers, bushes and shrubs beginning to bloom.

I have decided to just sit here and listen for God's voice. He has been whispering in my ear for the past week but I haven't been "quite" long enough to listen.

"It's all good" That is a favorite saying of a good friend...it's good for me to remember that when God finished creating the world, He declared it good.

Thank you God for all the beauty around me....it is all good!!

SEASONAL LUST!!

2010-04-09T09:15:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up and as usual the first thing I do each and every morning is look out the window. If it's not dark...which it usually is...I look up at the sky. What I'm looking for is that bright orange...or yellow....or golden...globe that sits in the sky.It's hard to remember the exact color of it. But this morning as usual when I peeked through the blinds...and I saw gray...again, I learned something new about myself....I hate gray!!

Not only do I hate gray but I also realized something else about myself on this bleak...gray...cloudy...sunless day...I have a disease. Maybe it's not really a disease. I think it's more an addiction or maybe a flaw in my genetic makeup. I have seasonal lust!! The bible tells me that lust is a sin so "welcome to this sinners blog". But it is really a sin to lust after something beautiful that God made especially for me to enjoy?? OOPS...I guess God made everything.

Here I am last fall enjoying one last ride before the sun is gone again.

Island memories...oh how they linger!!

The sun is somewhere....I remember it clearly!!

If you are lucky enough to have a garden.........you are lucky enough!!

2010-04-02T07:12:00.000-07:00

I recently have been coresponding with a second cousin that I didn't know existed. She lives in New Zealand and her grandpa and my grandpa were brothers. So this morning I was on a quest...looking for an old photograph I had promised a friend and at the same time looking for a copy of the family record book I had put together back in 1983. Wow...good thing the date was printed on the back cover because I had told my cousin that I thought I had done it about 15 years ago. OOPS...more like 27 years ago. But in my search for these items I got lost in a sea of old photographs and old memories. Pictures of my Grandma and Grandpa...pictures of my Mom...pictures of my husband (all in heaven now) and lots and lots of pictures of flowers.

The love of flowers and plants and digging in the dirt is the hertitage passed from my Grandpa....to Mom....to me...and then to my daughter. Take a look at my nails this time of the year and you can eaasily tell that yes I have the digging in the dirt gene. I'll have to remember to ask my new cousin if she also inherited this gene.

Mom was a lover of cut flowers..if she saw a flower growing she just had to pick it and make an arrangement. She owned and operated a florist shop most of her "retirement" years. She was self taught and in her element when fussing with her flowers.

Now I love cut flowers also but my favorite place to view flowers is in the dirt.....right where God planted them. With my help of course!!

My secret garden!!

MY MUSIC!!!

2010-03-27T07:26:00.000-07:00

                          To live content with what I have; dream big
                                 and never hurry; anticipate every family
                                     occasion; gaze at the moon; count
                                      all the stars; sit quitely; listen to
                                         God speak; contemplate;
                                             be respectable and
                                              worthy; cut more
                                                flowers; dream
                                                 more dreams;
                                                   enjoy God's
                                                     creation!!

Roses from Reuben

2010-03-26T09:54:00.000-07:00

Last year on the day we were to celebrate Reuben's life I received a package in the mail from the national mail order rose catalog. Two rose bushes arrived that morning..ordered by Reuben months before. They were promptly planted by a brother-in-law...then groomed...weeded...mulched....and loved by me.

I bought a sign that gave more encouragement to the roses to GROW. And grow they did. This is a picture of their first growing season and now they are starting to bud again.

Roses will bloom again
just wait and see
his roses will bloom again
for his family and me!

On the day we were gathered to celebrate his life
two rose's were delivered to his family and wife
they looked withered and sad and I thought they had died
but we planted them quickly so they might survive.

These two little rose bushes
that we planted with care
They are again starting to bud
and soon a fragrance will fill the air.

There is hope in those roses that were sent from above
that we planted and weeded and tended with love
There is hope in the blossom's and the bushes we tend
It is a sign from above...the indeed hearts do mend!!

Sunday Flowers!!

2010-03-07T07:28:00.000-08:00

A few years ago when traveling in Arizona we stopped at a RV park and after registering the gentleman told us to park in the back along side the Oleander. We left registration with a confused look.

What is an Oleander? As we walked back to our motor home our heads were turning back and forth looking for the Oleander. Did he want us to park in back beside the maintenance shed and that garbage compactor sitting there is their Oleander? Maybe he said park beside the "oily-tractor". I went back inside and he pointed us to the "Oleander". I had never heard of this flowering shrub. Beautiful..but deadly!!

The Oleander is a shrub with abundant beautiful flowers. The grow profusely in Arizona and the flowers are produced in many different colors and most are amazingly fragrant. But they are also one of the most poisonous plant in the world and contain numerous toxic compounds, which can be deadly. The toxidity of Oleander is considered extremely high.

The entire plant, even the sap is considered toxic. A single leaf can be fatal to a child. So my question is why are they still used as shrub borders along freeways and in school yards in California and Arizona?

My fancy friend!!

2010-03-06T07:49:00.000-08:00

I have a good friend...I call her my fancy friend. The first of the week her husband Terry lost his long time battle with cancer, and my friend Kay lost her best friend. This morning over-whelmed with the pain she must be going through I wrote this poem for her.

A Candle for Terry!

Here's a candle for you, it's just a flicker of light

but it will remind you of him and help with the night.

When the world is dark and you are missing him so

just light the candle and be embraced by the glow.

It broke your heart to loose him but he did not go alone

for part of you went with him when God called him home.

I know your heart is sad with all the words you didn't say

just whisper the words to God and they will fly his way.

Just light the candle and think of him with a smile in your soul

and remember his suffering but now he's completely whole.

You didn't get to say goodbye and that is hard to abide

but he was escorted by angels and is now at God's side.

So just light the candle when the pain won't go away

and remember his smile and that is here to stay.

He is in a beautiful new world with no daarkness or pain

and the memories he left will always remain.

When you think of him then he will be near

when you open his favorite wine...his voice you will hear.

So light a candle for he is not really gone

with each flicker of the candle...his memory lives on!!

I love you Kay and my prayers are with you!!

MOVING ALONG IN MY LIFE....I THINK!!

2010-03-01T07:17:00.000-08:00

Here it is March 1st and I am procrastinating...again. When in fact I should be getting tax stuff rounded up, going through all my piled up mail that accumulated while gone for two months, or collecting all the dust bunnies running around my house....instead I am on my computer looking at and organizing all my flower pictures. I have discovered in the past year, since my husband passed away, I am not only a slob...I am also a procrastinator. But I have heard that perfectionists are usually procrastinators. So I'm a perfectionist??? Even though I have time to get tax information together today...I can't. I can't do it because it's only March and taxes aren't due until April 15th and somewhere along the line I decided that there's no sense in starting till April 1st. All too soon it's April and as always I have numerous other things I need to get done. So then comes Reuben's job...remind me daily..numerous times..until I decide on my own, I might add, that I really can't procrastinate any longer. You see how nothings happens until everthing lines up perfectly...and that my friend is why nothing ever happens.
But it stops today..I am through with procrastination. I have decided I need to start moving along in my life and make a few decisions on my own. So today without any encouragement from anyone...is the day I start getting tax papers together. As soon as all my flowers are organized.... and then lunch with a friend..and then taxes. Well maybe I'll start tomorrow for sure!!

DETAILS!!

2010-02-26T06:56:00.000-08:00

LOOK AT THE DETAILS!!

Sometimes when life gets to overwhelming, I prefer too look at the details. Life is easier at times if taken in small bites!! Small desert flowers popping up among the cactus.

A Friend is always there!

2010-02-23T06:12:00.000-08:00

My friend and I share the same birthday month and we have been celebrating together for many years. We also share a lot of the same memories of Reuben my husband of 45 years and her younger only brother. This year for her birthday I wrote her this poem letting her know how much I care for her.

We shared sad days

We shared the sun's rays

You were there...

When I was so low

and the tears would flow

You were there...

Hands to clutch

gentle touch

You were there...

Reaching out

sharing doubt

You were there...

Falling tears

listening ears

You were there...

Times I couldn't even cry

and I just wanted to die

You were there...

I had so many fears

we cried and mingled our tears

You were there...

A loving friend indeed

you filled my every need

You were there...

You are a special friend

I'll love you till the end

You were there.

A story just waitiing to be told!

2010-02-19T07:28:00.000-08:00

Oh how I do love a good story!! Sometimes a story is just too good to keep to myself, even when my good sense dictates "don't tell anyone". When I was little I would tell stories to my dolls, mainly because no one else wanted to listen. It was then when I realized that any event that happens in my life is a story just waiting to be told.
     My husband would tolerate my stories...he would listen for maybe two or three minutes and then his favorite phrase was "short version". He just didn't realize that to a story teller there just isn't a "short version".  Last night was one of those nights, "a story just waiting to be told".
     It started out just fine with us four ladies traveling with our little rented car to the street fair in downtown Palm Springs. We decided to leave a couple hours early so we could visit some of the local shops and then eat dinner before the fair sets up. Parked the car in a perfectly good spot..left our sweaters in the car, read the big blue sign that said two hour parking only till 6:00 PM. No problem , we'd check around 5:30 and move it if we had to. OK at this point you are probably thinking we got a ticket...nope...no ticket for us. Had a leisurely walk looking for a good restaurant that had great salads. After dinner we decided to go to the car and get our sweaters and the car was gone. It was stolden!! We stood on the very same ground where our car had been parked and turned in circles looking...very confused. Is this the right street? Why would someone want to steal a "rent a junker" ? What now? Then we noticed the big red sign posted on the pole just below the blue one...cars towed after 5:30 PM. Wow-ser ...our car has been towed . @#$#. Now what do we do? Just then a police cruiser pulled up and sat there. I was positive God saw our diemma and sent them to help us. OK maybe not since they were the ones that called the tow truck to take our vehicle. They informed us that our vehicle was taken to a lot about one mile away. Thank you God for sending these ncie police officers to take care of us four senior citizens lady's in our distress. OK maybe not since they didn't even offer to drive us there and said we'd better hurry because soon they will be taking it to their downtown lot. That is the quickest mile I think I've ever done. Just in time..the car is still there and so is the tow truck. I paid the tow fee $77.00 and we were out of there and heading back to the street fair. I did ask the tow truck driver if that $77.00 covered the rest of the night....you know like double ideminity...they can't tow us twice for the same offence.
     Lesson learned....read all signs. Red ones and blue ones. Don't automatically assume that police officers are there to help you...but in their defence they did give us directions to the lot. Where was God in all of this you ask?
     We are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14. God knows every aspect of our bodies and and he gave us free will. We come to forks in the road as we travel throough life and have choices to make when we come to these forks. If we fail to use the wonderful mind that God gave us sometimes we suffer for the bad choices we make. King David did not live a perfect life, did not always choose the good path, let alone the best path God had offered him. Yet in spite of the bad choices he made "God still blessed him".

FEBRUARY 18th........

2010-02-17T19:52:00.000-08:00

ON T O D A Y

FEBRUARY 18th ...

THE ONE YESR ANNIVERSARY OF REUBEN'S DEATH

I WANTED YOU TO LET YOU KNOW THAT NOT A DAY GOES BY
THAT I DON'T CELEBRATE
THE TREASURE I HAVE IN ALL MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS.

through....time

...distance

....and heartache

YOU HAVE BEEN

THERE FOR ME!

IT IS YOUR ... LOVE THAT HAS REMAINED STEADFAST AND HAS BLESSED MY LIFE.

IT IS YOUR LOVE THAT COMES FROM GOD BECAUSE ...

LOVE NEVER...FAILS..AND THESE T H R E E REMAIN...

faith..........hope...........love and the greatest of these is .......LOVE

Deb & Shelby

Trish & Christy

Darin & Deb

Grandkids

Shirley & Brother

& Sisters

Grandson.Tyler

Shirl &

Reub's sisters

Derick's familyTrisha's family

Girlfriends

girlfriends

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KARLI GRACE

2010-02-13T20:45:00.000-08:00

In the garden of my heart

a rare beauty grows.

It is a flower picked by angels

Most carefully it was chose.

In making you up

from the very start

I know for a fact

God began with your heart.

For surely some hearts

are much bigger by far

In those that ever show

how special they are.

Some have hearts as deep

and as big as the ocean

and you share your quite freely

with love and devotion.

It's easy to recognize

those with hearts like this

Sincere warmth grows

quite impossible to miss.

You have beauty to look at

and the angels will say

your beauty on the inside

far exceeds in every way!!

Happy Birthday Karli Grace

I love you!!

Grandma Shirley

Did you say “I Love You” today?

2010-02-12T06:59:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I received some devastating news. A friend has died. This news was delivered via the current media outlet of the decade E-Mail. It’s hard to imagine all the thoughts that can go through your head in a just a few minute's time span. How did she die? Oh no she was way to young. She had such a giving heart! How is her family doing? Oh her grandchildren will be devastated…she was so loved. Did I ever tell her I loved her, or that she was an amazing person? The tears were unstoppable. Then I made a phone call and received the best news of my life. It was a very bad mix up and the person who sent the E-mail felt terrible that she hadn’t first verified the information. I chatted with my friend and she was very much alive and hadn’t yet heard of her demise. I told her I loved her and appreciated her friendship.

Don’t forget this Valentine’s Day to say:

I LOVE YOU

GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE

2010-02-10T04:29:00.000-08:00

HERE IS MOM ON HER 85th BIRTHDAY

THREE GENERATIONS BORN ON FEBRUARY 19th

A picture of Mom on February 19th on her 85th birthday...me born on February 19th (with 5 of my 8 grand kids)...Son Darin also born on February 19th.(with wife Deb)

My mother the original sunshine lady, would always wake me in the mornings with the song, "good morning sunshine". Mom passed away last year and I miss her immensely. She always had a song in her heart. Her last month of life she couldn't talk but it seemed she could still hum whatever hymn was going through her head that day. I was born on my mother's birthday on February 19th and twenty-four years later my son was also born on that day. At the time there was even a write-up in the local paper..."three generations born on February 19th".

Next week Mom would be "86" years old....my birthday will never be the same with out her.

THE HEALING MIRACLE WATERS

2010-02-09T19:33:00.001-08:00

At the present time I am spending a couple of months enjoying the California desert and the healing hot mineral waters. The waters really are healing! People come from all over the USA and Canada come to take in the magic healing waters of Desert Hot Springs. The analysis of the water shows the sulfur content to be very high; but it's in a crystallized form, so there is no odor. Dr. Robert Bingham, who heads the Desert Hot Springs Arthritis and Medical Clinic, "says these waters have a curative effect on the human body".

Last year, a couple months after my husband of forty-five years passed away, I spent two weeks with his sister taking in the healing waters of the California desert. I didn't notice any curative effect on my body...but my spirit...Oh how the healing waters helped my spirit heal. For two weeks we had our ritual...just take in the water.

The solitude of just sitting in the healing waters gave me the time I needed to just think and pray. Think about a future that I thought at that time was non-existent. I couldn't even imagine a future without my high school sweetheart, my friend, my lover. Was there a future worth looking forward to? Silence to reflect on God's love and remember that even though at times I felt it wasn't so...God still did love me.

I was mourning my husband and friend and his sister was mourning the loss of her only brother. It started the healing process for both of us. At the pool of healing waters we would talk and share stories of the man we both loved. We would share and the healing tears would fall...we would hug and I would wonder if this hole in my heart would ever go away...and the healing tears would fall. By opening our hearts to each other it encourage our bodies to start the natural healing process. It was our healing ritual!

It is now almost a year later and I am healing...the hole in my heart is still there but now it doesn't seem like it might be terminal. The pain has subsided...the infection did not spread to my spirit. Is the healing complete? No, and I don't believe it will ever be complete. That edge of sadness I believe keeps me tenderhearted and gives me more appreciation of how special family and loved ones are to me.

I arrived here again, to the California desert and the healing waters, six weeks ago and soon it will be time to return to my home and family But while here in the desert I have again taken part in the "healing waters". I have become an active participant in the healing process and I feel good. I feel good about my life. I feel optimistic!! I feel I have a purpose and I am at peace...or so I thought until last week. I ran into an old high school friend of my husbands and they had reconnected about two years before his death. He seemed genuinely surprised that I was doing so "good". I'm not sure what was expected of me but apparently I shouldn't be feeling quite so OK. Then later the guilt hit me. Why was I feeling so good about me when I should be feeling bad? I was feeling guilty for feeling good. Was I being disrespectful to his memory and maybe it meant I was forgetting him? When all else fails....Google. I didn't have my bible concordance with me so Google it was.

John 8:44 tells me that the devil is a liar and the father of lies. He wants me to feel guilt...that is his job and he is very good at it. As I sat there prayerfully considering my life this past year I came to the conclusion that there are just a few things that actually mattered. My family. My key relationships...with God...myself...and those around me. My values. My character. I had an Aha moment when I came to the conclusion that life isn't so much about what I do. Its more about who I am! And I am OK. ..I'm doing OK!

Hiking in Joshua Tree National Park

2010-02-01T06:56:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we spent the day hiking and sightseeing in Joshua Tree National Park. We hiked the many trails...climbed numerous rock formations..and stood and gazed over the smog filled valley at the San Andreas fault. Awesome view!

Then home (for another month) to the healing hot mineral waters to soak our hot tired feet.

LaVerne & Shirley's Excellent Adventure!!

2010-01-30T07:16:00.001-08:00

Here we are on one of our LaVerne & Shirley Hikes

I’m not exactly sure what possessed three very intelligent (or so I thought)
“60 something” ladies to hike the perimeter of Timothy Lake. Maybe it was the need to do it one more time before...you know… everything gives out. I heard the bladder is the first to go and I can’t imagine hiking anywhere with wet pants, let alone 13 miles around the lake. OK after yesterday I can imagine hiking with wet pants…I’ll get into that later.

We left Bethany at 8:00 AM sharp…back packs…food and water jugs and more than ready for this adventure. We met newly weds Thor and Christine and their 3 children at the lake and at exactly 10:05 we hit the trail with high expectations. Now different people have different reasons for hiking and I hike just because I love nature and gabbing with friends. When packing my fanny pack I crammed all the food it would hold and filled my 22 ounce water bottle. Heck yea 22 ounces is enough water…I was worried about not having enough food. That was my first mistake…and believe me when I say there were many more “mistakes” along the way.

#1….I already mentioned my thinking 13 miles would be a walk in the park. “We can do it”, was our chant. We started out dodging horse poop alone the way and I couldn’t help thinking, “I wish they would clean up after their animals”. With a frown and averted eyes I would step around the obnoxious odor. At approx the half way mark I was just barely missing the poop (feet too tired to step much out of the way) and I no longer required my rests to be “poop Free”.

#2….Oh if I could do it all over again…if only God would give me a do over…I would take more water. If only I had taken more water I would not be known by new friends Thor and Christine “as the woman who steals water”. Yes I admit it and as I write this I must admit that’s not one of my finest moments. Half-way through the hike my bottle is empty and with mouth dry…a headache and seeing water mirages…OK maybe I exaggerate some…we came upon a campsite and there on their picnic table is a HUGE bottle of water. I asked if I could have some of their water..nobody answered…and I was reasonable sure that if they would have been there they would have said yes.

#3….OK the wet pants thing. I think we were probably 8 miles or so into the hike and we had lost our fearless leaders but just as we turned the bend there they were in the lake with water up to their neck. OK so who said you needed a swim suit to jump in a lake….shorts and t-shirts worked very fine I might add. After a 30-45 minute water break we were continuing our hike with dripping pants but totally revived.

#4...I think mistake number four is not realizing exactly how far thirteen miles really is. Ardis put it in prospective for us at about the eight mile marker when she made here excellent observation, "do you realize 13 miles is like me walking from my house t o Woodburn". The hike, or should I say plodding, by that point was no longer fun. It was not a walk in the park. It was an extreme test of our character and heat indurance. I so totally wanted to whine at that point...but we plodded along with our blisters hurting...our hips grinding (at that age, yes our hips do grind) my wet pants rubbing my upper thighs sore...fly's so big they tried to carry me off...and horse poop on my shoes (too tired at this point to step over it) I was no longer interested in looking at the beautiful scenery, or chattiing for that matter. Thor tried endless times to point out to us the wild flowers...yes, yes big deal...for the 30th time the lake is beautiful..now how far is it agian to the car.

Thanks Thor and Christine for escorting three senior ladies on our excellent adventure. After Thor's 15th time of walking back to see what haooened to us he told us the car is just over the dam. Did I believe him? No I did not. He had tried that ploy many times with "just one more mile". We parted with hugs all around so I think we are still friends.

A golf tournament to remember!!

2010-01-29T06:12:00.000-08:00

After one day of golf lessons…no after 1 hour of golf lessons we decided to sign up for a golf tournament. In all honesty I guess I should say I decided to sign up for a golf tournament and encouraged my family members…once friends…to sign up with me. I guess I am also using the word encouraged very loosely.

But I do need a little credit here because it was advertised by word and by mouth that this is a “golf fun day”!! Our one hour golf instructor also told us, “go and have a good time”. So with much enthusiasm on my part and lots of second thoughts by my team members we signed up for a “fun day of golf”. We did have fun even though one lady on the team behind us kept a constant stream of obscenities flowing our way. OK maybe not obscenities but very rude behavior for someone that is supposed to be having a "fun day of golf”. We were too slow…we were holding people up…we needed to hurry along!! We lost a total of 10 balls in the water….that was fun…hit the roof or sides of 3 different houses….that was fun…stepped in lots of duck poop…but that was while trying to retrieve our numerous balls from the water. We finished in 1 ½ hours and they said have fun you have 2 hours to finish…so we did good…especially considering we spent at least half of that time looking for the next T.

Then the big grand finale the dinner and the award ceremony. On the way there Irene exclaimed, “Oh no I forgot my camera”. I said bummer, “now who’s going to take our picture when they give us the winning trophy”? Our score was 74…don’t ask me what that means because our 1 hour golf lesson did not include scoring. Then they announced the lowest and the highest score. Forty something for low and 62 for high. What happened to our 74? We were afraid to ask but it was suggested they probably threw our score card away….you really can’t say that kind of score out loud I guess.

So all in all I can honestly say I had a fun day of golf….but I can’t answer for the others.

Sailing on a Promise

2010-01-29T04:29:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I feel I would love to just sail away
Off into the sunset and a brand new day.

A day with no worries and lots of play
Just sail and sail the ocean all day.

Is this sail boat worthy, can it stand the test?
Can it sail forever and ever and never rest?

Is the captain knowledgeable can he keep me safe?
Or is he like captain Ron...a real disgrace?

But it is a promise and this I hold dear
that he will do all in his power to make sure I'm secure.

Then in my dream it is all so clear
the captain is you and I release all my fear.

It's just a hint of a promise but so romantic it seems
To sail on a promise has been one of my dreams.

Unsheltered with billowing sails
just floating along as if on whispering veils.

A promise is to keep...so just hold on tight.
but sometimes they are illusive as the moon shadows at night.

In my dreams I wonder is it real or will it fail?
Is is truly just a dream? Will I really sail?

Because my dreams are a vast as the sea
maybe this dream I should just let it be!!

I could still hold your hand

2010-01-21T05:53:00.000-08:00

At this time last year you were still with me, but now a brand new year, a brand new start. It's 2010 and slowly, ever so slowly...the sun has moved across the sky and the clouds are slowly disappearing.

Back then I could hold your hand and you were there with me always.

Now it's today, a new year and I realize you are still with me..always!

I felt sad because I could no longer hold your hand.

but then like magic you appear as we dance to our song...You are holding me once again, you've been gone so long.

Majestic, gentle outstretched arms hold me as we dance in my dreams.

The arms that are holding me are strong as we glide so light...But wait...are these your arms that lift me in flight?

My eyes are downcast as we glide across the floor...I am amazed at the lightness with which we soar.

I am so relaxed in your arms and just enjoyiing the dance...You guide me so gently as you put me in your trance.

But as I gaze up and sweetly look into your face.....

I realize it's you LORD...

In the just born morning you've come with your embrace.

You remind me when your eyes meet mine...How very much you love him, and now he is thine.

It's you Lord that gives me comfort so dear...it's you Lord that has filled me with grace.

It's you Lord that holds me so tight.

It's you Lord dancing with me with a glowing face.

It's you Lord that reminds me so gently

Not now..not today...maybe not tomorrow..but soon I promise.

The hole in your heart is getting smaller and the clouds disappear with the rain,

and soon you will remember him with sunshine...and not with pain!!

January 18, 2010

2010-01-18T07:15:00.000-08:00

Happy 2010 to everyone.....

I enjoy writing and I send to my friends and family. But do they want me to send them my ramblings?? Maybe or maybe not. Now they have a choice if they want to see my ramblings..they can go to my blog and they won't have all my "stuff" filling up their E-mail.

Shirl.... The early morning poet